Lost.

So...it takes a lot to type this right now. I'm not even sure if I will publish this to begin with. I might just type it out so I feel better. Things are...chaotic at the moment. Something happened last night that could really change things. I want to play it all off as a joke, but the circumstances don't allow me to see it that way. People were really upset. It sucks. It truly does. I really don't want to even think about it, but I know I'll feel better by typing it out.

I have always been "That Guy". The one who likes to help. The one who has no problem lending a friend cash when he has it, or letting people use his stuff. I have poker nights at my house every once in a while. Stuff might get broken, or a mess made. I always clean it up. A friend will help now and then but most of the time I'm the one getting yelled at because I asked everyone to help clean when I go to bed and it doesn't happen. I understand that. They come over and eat our food and use our house. That is honestly no big deal at all. I know...that I have more than other people do. But I truly try not to flaunt that. If I do that to you, I am truly sorry. I just want to make others happy, as well as myself. I won't lie about that and say I don't like to make myself happy. I really do. I hope everyone can understand that. If not, oh well. I like to think that I am a pretty understanding person...

But some people have been just...doing things I don't agree with. I'm afraid. I really, truly am scared that I will lose people over this. The same people I would trust and protect with my life. I'm not afraid to admit I'm scared. I just...have no idea what to do. I don't know how to make things right. I'm just hoping that things can be fixed, somehow.....some way....but all I have is hope. So until next time, here's hoping that things really improve. -Blake